Saturday, September 30, 2017

Video of one who calls out YWAM's abuse:

Though a little crude at times, as we were told in YWAM, "Chew on the meat & spit out the bones."

Monday, September 25, 2017

Healing and Atheisim


Old Mango Trees along the Makiki Valley Trail

There are now 160 members in the Facebook group I started, “Spiritual Abuse in YWAM”. I have heard so many abuse stories that took place in YWAM. Many have symptoms of PTSD years after getting out. I have been out of YWAM Honolulu since 1995 yet still have nightmares of being back in the cult of abuse & control. The past couple of years, there has finally been some healing with fewer & less dramatic nightmares when I do have them.

Looking back from the time I got out, I didn't see growth and healing in my life on a daily basis but see growth in the process of time. I feel closer to my Lord now than ever in my life. I still don't trust Christians in authority (even though my father was an example of a godly pastor) so do not regularly go to church. Instead, I listen to Christian topics on YouTube while I paint watercolors that I pray reflect the Master Artist.

My closest times with the Lord in fellowship with Him are when I go on my hikes in the Hawaiian rain forest. It is easier to talk to Him there than at home. I am so thankful that I do not need to play by “YWAM rules” to grow in my relationship with Him. I do not need to go through the (copyrighted by Joy Dawson) YWAM steps of intercession to get to the throne of Grace.

I often pray for those who are members of the little Spiritual Abuse in YWAM group, especially those who now consider themselves atheist due to the spiritual harm they experienced during their time with YWAM. I pray God brings some godly examples of Jesus to their lives to show them His love & grace. I know, had I not had examples of godly Christians in my own life (including my parents) before I went into YWAM it would have been easy for me to leave Jesus behind the door when I left YWAM as well. Still, he woos those who have given up on Him back to Himself.

Sunday, March 19, 2017


Common themes in YWAM abuse worldwide

There are currently 129 members in my Spiritual Abuse in YWAM Facebook group. Some join & never make any comments. Some are currently in YWAM, perhaps to “spy”. I have had the group a few years now & members come & go but slowly increases over time. It has been a good place to talk about the various abuse and false biblical doctrine inflicted by YWAM bases worldwide. The common denominator seems to be power trips by controlling leadership and shaming if you do not accept the YWAM party line. There is something wrong with you if you do not tow the line or if you think for yourself & make your conclusions & ideas known.

The group has helped bring closure & healing to many who are left wounded after their YWAM experience after going into YWAM in search of a better relationship with the Lord & to be around others who are on fire for God but turned into abusive nightmare instead. Some were disillusioned & left after a week or so while others, like myself left empty & spiritually numb after 12 years of service. The group has been used to help inform people who were planning to join YWAM not to.

If anyone who reads this is thinking of joining YWAM, I'd invite you to join our group & see how it has affected over 100 people. Several have even left God behind (including former YWAM leadership) & are now atheist or agnostic. I personally have a better relationship with the Lord than I ever did when in YWAM.